Tag Archives: personal development

Stepping away from monogamy

Once upon a time I only had very monogamous relationships.

Then I got my first openly bisexual girlfriend, which led to me question if it was really fair that I restricted half her sexuality by demanding she be monogamous. My gut answer was a clear no. It is not fair to expect someone to repress such a large part of their sexuality in order for me to have sexual exclusivity.

Then I thought it over for another minute.

Am I really so much of a man that all other sexual contact with men would be superfluous? Again the answer was no, since people in general are so very different. There are experiences I could never give a woman, simply because I’m too tall, short, strong, weak, or have the wrong skin color, just to mention a few things that I can’t easily change.

It dawned on me that the thought of sexual exclusivity which society programs us with is deeply inhibiting. It is really no wonder that many of us feel compelled to change partners frequently or to be unfaithful. Not everyone is stuck in the norm, but many are, and those who aren’t still need to relate to it in one way or another. Deviations are often met with punishments such as imposing guilt or shame or being ridiculed.

Of course there are many who challenge the norm of monogamy, for example by trying to have open relationships (often only sexually open) or even polyamorous relationships (having multiple intimate love relationships). But even if such an attitude is theoretically much healthier, it seems that many of the people I have met who try to live in that manner are obviously confused and divided. Most of the time I don’t feel that it is their fault, but rather that it is a result of the programming that they have been exposed to, which has in turn thoroughly messed up their minds.

As far as I can see the main difference between harmonious and disharmonious multiple relationships lies in if you approach it with the heart or the head. There are many people like me who have thought it over and come to realize that monogamy is not a healthy norm, but in order to live that insight in a harmonious way it isn’t enough that the head understands. The heart must also understand. In order for the heart to understand the person needs to work with his/her personal development to get past the thought patterns that we have been impregnated with.

To put it all in chakra terms, the person needs to rise to the level of the heart chakra where love is unconditional. The vast majority is however on the second or third chakra where the ego is ever present, manipulations are common and love comes with conditions. Many have occasional experiences at the heart level, such as when they fall in love or have children, but very few are stable at that level, which explains why many people who are experimenting with such things as polyamory or open relationships are clearly unbalanced in it. Even those who seem to be balanced are often not, since they swallow their imbalance, which of course hurts the person in much the same way as if they would swallow sadness or anger.

Photo: Threesome by Anthony Easton on Flickr

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedintumblrmailby feather
Facebookrssby feather

Small, small dreams

– What did you dream of becoming or doing when you were a teenager?

I thought back of what I expected from life and dreamed of, and eventually came to the conclusion that my expectations were not only way off, but that they were also set far too low.

My great desire for a long period was to be a journalist and work at the same newspaper as my mother. I eventually became a journalist and worked at several newspapers, but never at the one where my mother worked. After a few years I felt I was done. I had learnt what I was there for.

Then began a journey of personal and spiritual development.

I recovered from addiction.
I healed and got to know my true essence.
I got in touch with the spirit world and my children.

I found transition points between realities.
Got to know angels.
Explored my psyche and universe.

It is sometimes said that a psychedelic trip can be the same as ten years of therapy in one evening. I’m nowhere close to being finished, but I have by now had many lifetimes of therapy and in contact with others I can really notice the difference.

I connected upwards, downward, inside and out.
I ran to face my fears and to challenge my traumas.
Did found both the guru and the shaman in me.

My teenage dreams seem so small now. Journalist at a newspaper. So simple.

I am an explorer. I move between realities, times and levels of awareness. I am a father who takes care of his children. I am an expression of the highest divine. I am Daniel.

But I still wonder what I should be or do when I grow up.

Photo: Close Up of the Human Eye by Hugo A Quintero G on Flickr

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedintumblrmailby feather
Facebookrssby feather

Why do I write this blog?

Healing

In the gospel of Tomas, Jesus says “If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.” That quote has been very inspiring to me, because the truth is so very apparent. When we try to hide things we are ashamed of, we are actually holding onto those most toxic moments of our lives, thus hurting ourselves.

I use my writing as a tool for healing. When I find something that I feel that some part of me desperately wants to keep secret, I write about it. Then I often find myself doubting if I should really reveal that which I feel ashamed of. That feeling is the final sign that I need to let go, so I publish. Every time I manage to bring something out into the open and release it, a weight is lifted from my shoulders. I walk a little lighter, a little taller and breathe a little deeper.

Some might think that I do so because I am an exhibitionist thrill seeker. To be quite honest it often scares and even sickens me to reveal myself. My ego is many times violently opposed and tries to get me off the idea of being truthful and transparent. But I push forward anyway, because when I release something it eventually looses all power over me and I heal.

Collecting

This blog mostly covers the last 10-15 years of my life. My life has changed dramatically during that time, which has led me on a path of spiritual and self discovery. From having been an atheist drunk I have woken up to realize that I am a shaman, a healer and teacher. I have opened up contact to the spirit world and work with angels. I’m a natural at working with psychedelics and often have clear sight. Most of the time I’m not learning things in the area of spirituality and shamanism, I’m just remembering them from the many past lives I have spent doing the same things.

I have also found several great gurus along the way. It is clear to me that everyone and everything has the potential of being a great teacher, if I only approach them/it with that understanding. So many people have helped me remember who I am and have added to my knowledge. I am truly grateful. Three teachers have been especially prominent – my two children and my wife.

This journey is most interesting and rewarding, even in the parts that have been filled with hardship. It has left my head filled with insights and learning experiences that I now feel an overwhelming need to document in order to bring structure into what I know. I am releasing my first book shortly and I have the feeling that there are a couple more waiting to be written, where much of the material on this blog will reappear.

Connecting

So far I have worked very much on my own or with a small circle of friends. Lately I have been feeling a longing to expand and find new friends also outside Sweden. I hope that my openness attracts other people who are on similar paths of self exploration, and it seems to.

I am also happy to share what I have learnt with others.

Social commentary and a push for change

There is so much that is properly screwed up in this society that I cannot help myself from commenting on some of it. Especially when it comes to drug laws I find today’s system utterly offensive, but politics in common are a mess. So I can’t help getting involved from time to time.

What this blog isn’t about

This blog is not about having many readers, pleasing people, earning money, making a name for myself, satisfying my ego or hurting anyone. If any of that was a priority, this would have been a very different blog.

Photo: by Milea Corméry

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedintumblrmailby feather
Facebookrssby feather

Four steps to personal and spiritual growth

1. Awareness
2. Acceptance
3. Change
4. Thankfulness

This is a four-step model that I have developed for working with personal and spiritual growth. Personally, I feel that it is superior to other models I have found. I feel it is easy to make a more complex model with more steps, in the same way as it is easy to write a long meaningless text. For me the challenge is to find the core and express it as simply as possible. This model is particularly suitable for people who are intuitive and innovative.

Awareness

All deliberate change begins with us gaining awareness. Without awareness, one cannot begin to work with oneself. As long as you are not aware that you, as an example, have a problem, you can’t make an active choice in how to deal with it. Sometimes awareness comes as a rude awakening. Sometimes you need to work for it. However you achieve it, it is the first stage of any development.

Acceptance

When we become aware that something is in a certain way, we need to accept that it is so. Before we accept that something is a certain way, we can’t start working on it, since we are simultaneously living in denial. Accepting that something is a certain way does not mean we think it’s good or that we want it to be so. It’s only an observation that this is how it is right now.

Some may be tempted to believe that step 1 and 2 are the same thing. They are not. Many who awaken to awareness of past trauma or erroneous behaviours, refuse to accept it when confronted. They go from being aware to trying to repress and/or deny whatever it is. We can’t work on our development from that position, since we are still stuck.

Change

When we are aware and have accepted the situation we can start making changes that will lead us in the direction we want to go. My experience is that when I have managed to do steps 1 and 2, life conspires to show me the way forward. What I need to do is be open and attentive, to receive the tools and challenges that I get.

Some models try to break this step down into detailed points on how to do things. They make a method of it. I rather think that the method is forever changing. In working with personal and spiritual development we often need many different methods, adjusted methods, our own methods, hunches, collapses or divine inspiration. For me it is an intuitive process that requires that I am open to feel what is right for me at this moment.

Thankfulness

Many people that forget to be thankful soon forget what they have to be thankful for. So it is good to frequently express gratitude for what we have experienced, and especially the difficult moments. My experience is that I get to a point where all that is left is a memory, a lesson and a thankfulness for what has been. When I have made my way through the entire process, my focus has shifted from what has been lost to what I have found, from what was to what is. In the present and with an understanding of everything I have, I am always thankful.

If you find it difficult to be thankful I would recommend you to create a success board.

Photo: IMG_1760 by Robert Couse-Baker on Flickr

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedintumblrmailby feather
Facebookrssby feather