Tag Archives: Happy

Plenty of comfort

There is a Swedish saying that goes something like this:

A big cock is of little comfort in a poor home.

Personally I think that saying is absolute rubbish. I’d go for the big cock any day of the week. But I’m clearly biased seeing that I have a big cock, seem to be chronically broke and am happy as fuck.

Photo: a man proud of himself (con reflejos) by Procsilas Moscas on Flickr

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Needing more out of life

I have a friend who has a dream job. After having cooked and blogged his way through a large portion of the Italian cuisine, he got a job as a food writer at the newspaper where he works. His Facebook updates are full of delights and it shows that his job has a positive impact on the rest of his family life. I do however get the feeling that if it is not accompanied by wine, cheese and friends laughing, it doesn’t seems to fit into his life.

Another friend has focused on both family and career. He has gone from one high position to another, and commands a price tag that is way above the mine. He is intellectually razor sharp and a creative thinker. Sure, last time I spoke to him he was burnt out and on sick leave, but I suppose that’s all part of the job. He seems to define freedom mainly as being financially independent and debt free.

Just the other week I was at the home of another friend who lives in a modern villa. My instinctive reaction when I walked in was that the place was a temple of stuff. Objectively speaking, I can see that it was a fairly standard equipped home, but in my world it equals gadget hysteria. “I chose security,” she explained. That apparently means a fully equipped home, a man who supports her and a fancy car.

I live in a small rented apartment, I’m separated and my economy has a serious limp at the moment. But I am at the same time incredibly happy that I live my life and not theirs. For although I think that what they are doing is great and seems fun in many ways, to me it feels very flat. I sincerely wish them all the best and hope and believe that they are very happy with their choices in life, but personally I would go crazy if I had to live a life that seems so very superficial. What if life was actually about security, satisfying the senses or climbing the career ladder and being rewarded with money and prestige. I wouldn’t want it that way.

I would love to have security, a dream job and earn obscene amounts of money. But for me life needs to be so much more to be the slightest bit interesting.

Photo: The only real prison is fear, and the only real freedom is freedom from fear by Caroline on Flickr

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My medicine bag

About a year and a half ago I had a mushroom session where I was told to make my own medicine bag. In meditation I got in contact with a red deer and asked permission to use its skin, which it gladly gave me. At first I thought I would have to shoot the animal myself, but I soon understood that it was all right if I got the hide from the hunters.

I had to wait for half a year before the hunting season started and meanwhile I put aside money to afford everything. The hunting team in the area that I was shown gave me a skin to collect from the butcher. When I asked what they wanted for it, I got it for free. I drove off with an untreated skin, directly from the slaughter.

The next thing to do was to figure out how to tan it. On the internet I found some tanning firms, but it was expensive and not the quality I wanted. A butcher gave me the phone number to a man close by that works with Stone Age techniques. I went to his home with the intention of paying him to tan my skin, which I knew could be pricey. He showed me the different qualities of leather and when I got one particularly soft one in my hand, I knew it was what I wanted.
– Well, that’s the most expensive one, because it takes a lot of work, he said.
We continued talking and after a while he asked me what I wanted it for. When I told him that I was going to make a medicine bag, he interrupted me.
– In that case you want to do it yourself, he said. You just come here with the hide and I’ll show you how to do it.
I was happily surprised, but could imagine that it would be expensive. When I asked he told me that it wouldn’t cost anything.

I have spent a lot of time out there – scraping, brain tanning the hide and finally smoking it. And while I learnt how to tan a deer skin from scratch, I also found a wonderful new friend.

It took me a while before I actually dared use my scissors on it. The third bag I sewed was mine. I did it outside with the sun in my face and a bumblebee by my side. The only thing that is not buckskin is the button, which is a beautiful wooden piece with three Swedish woods that another friend made. I think it resembles a leaf, which reminds me of the contact with nature. When I did my ceremony with the finished bag I found out that it holds love in many forms. Unconditional love, healing love, physical love and forgiveness.

One and a half years later, it is ready and I am happy and grateful. Very happy and very grateful.

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Love just appears

I’m the kind of guy that sings to himself, so one day I started singing…

you can’t hurry love, no you just have to wait…

I don’t really know where it came from, but it just kept going round, round in my head until I had to YouTube it. That’s when I found this guy, Fresh Big Mouf, with a wonderful style of making music. He picks a spot and a song, then he goes beat scouting – that is he finds sounds on location that he then builds music out of. And he is just brilliant! But hey, don’t take my word for it. Listen for yourself…

I especially like it when he has wonderful, beautiful Kina Grannis by his side. There is something to her that just fits so perfectly with the music, with his voice, with the entire set up.

But then you just can’t go wrong with The Beatles, even if Kina isn’t there to make it all a little better.

So it’s true. You can’t hurry love. One day you just start singing to yourself, you turn on YouTube and there they are… Some guy and some girl somewhere else, being just fantastic.


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