Tag Archives: evolve

As many chances as you need

The general rule is that you get however many chances you need to complete your lesson. You always get a second chance. And a third, a fourth, a fifth and however many you need.

That doesn’t necessarily mean that you will be given a second chance by the same person or even in the same life, but in fact you won’t be able to move forward before you get it right.

Now some pessimists might think that there is no incentive to complete the lesson and move on. That the rule of having all the chances in the world will make slackers. Well, there are at least two things that push people to move on. The first is that the lesson becomes harsher each time it comes around in order to motivate us to move forward. Life wants us to evolve. The second is that it becomes outright boring to work on the same lesson over and over.

Let’s take the example of addiction. Life will give you as many chances that you need to overcome an addiction. If that is part of your life lesson you will have every chance. Now that doesn’t mean that the same person will give you unlimited chances. There will certainly be people and institutions that get fed up with you after a while and let go of you, but there will always be new doors opening for you to end your addiction, all the way up until your death bed. And if you aren’t able to solve it in this life you will bring the lesson along to the next, so even if you manage to end it five minutes before your death it is a victory, because you won’t have to go through the same painful journey all over again.

The first times that you get into contact with your lesson the effort needed to break the addiction will be quite small, but it might at the same time not feel very pressing. You might not have felt enough harm and pain to fully understand the importance of dealing with it, so you stay in it. But with time and with each door you close the lesson will become harsher. The harm will increase and so will the pain. What was once a soft and barely distinguishable alarm will grow to a siren right next to you until you simply cannot ignore it anymore. And you will be fed up with your lesson, with yourself and perhaps even with this life because you are just hurting yourself in the same way over and over again. You will be frustrated and bored and longing for change until one day you finally learn the lesson.

Then there will be a great release.

And after that another lesson. That lesson will be all new and might even be quite intriguing. In the beginning you might not even notice the opportunities you are being given to learn the lesson. Perhaps you can’t see the need of learning it at all so you pass up the opportunities. But don’t worry. You will have all the chances you will ever need to learn the lesson. That is simply how it works.

Photo: drink up, its summer by Jeff Ruane on Flickr

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Discomfort is not harm

Discomfort is not harm. It is only discomfort.

We are so used to avoiding anything unpleasant that many of us have forgotten what the difference is between unpleasant discomfort and harm. As soon as we come close to anything unpleasant we run in the opposite direction or sedate ourselves, which of course means that we never actually solve whatever it is that lies at the core of our discomfort.

To move on in life, go where the energy is the strongest. Greet your fears, meet your discomfort, heal and grow.

If you keep avoiding stuff you’ll be 12 for the rest of your life.

 Photo: Barefoot walking by Gerneinde Celerina

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Stepping away from monogamy

Once upon a time I only had very monogamous relationships.

Then I got my first openly bisexual girlfriend, which led to me question if it was really fair that I restricted half her sexuality by demanding she be monogamous. My gut answer was a clear no. It is not fair to expect someone to repress such a large part of their sexuality in order for me to have sexual exclusivity.

Then I thought it over for another minute.

Am I really so much of a man that all other sexual contact with men would be superfluous? Again the answer was no, since people in general are so very different. There are experiences I could never give a woman, simply because I’m too tall, short, strong, weak, or have the wrong skin color, just to mention a few things that I can’t easily change.

It dawned on me that the thought of sexual exclusivity which society programs us with is deeply inhibiting. It is really no wonder that many of us feel compelled to change partners frequently or to be unfaithful. Not everyone is stuck in the norm, but many are, and those who aren’t still need to relate to it in one way or another. Deviations are often met with punishments such as imposing guilt or shame or being ridiculed.

Of course there are many who challenge the norm of monogamy, for example by trying to have open relationships (often only sexually open) or even polyamorous relationships (having multiple intimate love relationships). But even if such an attitude is theoretically much healthier, it seems that many of the people I have met who try to live in that manner are obviously confused and divided. Most of the time I don’t feel that it is their fault, but rather that it is a result of the programming that they have been exposed to, which has in turn thoroughly messed up their minds.

As far as I can see the main difference between harmonious and disharmonious multiple relationships lies in if you approach it with the heart or the head. There are many people like me who have thought it over and come to realize that monogamy is not a healthy norm, but in order to live that insight in a harmonious way it isn’t enough that the head understands. The heart must also understand. In order for the heart to understand the person needs to work with his/her personal development to get past the thought patterns that we have been impregnated with.

To put it all in chakra terms, the person needs to rise to the level of the heart chakra where love is unconditional. The vast majority is however on the second or third chakra where the ego is ever present, manipulations are common and love comes with conditions. Many have occasional experiences at the heart level, such as when they fall in love or have children, but very few are stable at that level, which explains why many people who are experimenting with such things as polyamory or open relationships are clearly unbalanced in it. Even those who seem to be balanced are often not, since they swallow their imbalance, which of course hurts the person in much the same way as if they would swallow sadness or anger.

Photo: Threesome by Anthony Easton on Flickr

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Stumbling between energetic levels

People who are on the verge of raising their energy level often stumble between levels. One day they are in the long-awaited new, and the next they relapse into the rigid old.

I have seen it in people who have awakened to a spiritual reality, but who have yet not fully accepted it. When they are in balance, feeling rested, satisfied, happy and loving, the contact with the highest divine comes naturally and is carefree. When they feel good, they accept a spiritual reality, have their own experiences of it and feel comfortable about it.

However, when they lose their balance, doubt steps in and they return to the materialist worldview that they have been programmed with. Yesterdays great insights are dismissed without thought or talk, and at the same time cynicism comes creeping in together with despair.

Some decide that they actually do not dare or want to raise their energy level, but most get back on track. Life wants to live and evolve.

Photo: O Dom do Passo by jeronimo sanz on Flickr

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