Tag Archives: beginning

Time for new beginnings

Today is the Spring Equinox which is a time for endings and new beginnings, death and rebirth. We lay old projects to rest and see the first seedlings of new ones.

Today I will climb to the top of a hill together with friends, light a fire and we will all burn something from the past that we no longer need or want in our lives. Then we will wish for the new things we want to invite into our lives with the support or the energy of the Spring. Afterwards we’ll have a meditation, eat and talk about our new projects.

Photo: Spirited Away by Stephen Brace on Flickr
Photo: Spirited Away by Stephen Brace on Flickr

I have a couple of new projects that are yearning for my attention and also a few old ones that need to come to an end to make room for the new ones. This blog is one such thing that will be coming to an end. I have been writing it for two years now and it has been a great therapeutic tool and also a way to share and connect with others. I am truly grateful for the healing it has given me and also grateful for the wonderful people it has put me in contact with. Thank you everyone who has supported me such as Naysha, Azarius and Zamnesia. With a smile and a light heart I will now move on to other even more interesting projects.

I wish you all the best of luck with your projects and please feel free to get in contact with me with questions, thoughts, bookings, new friendships and such.

Daniel Wilby

Main photo: Almost Over The Rainbow by Adrian Ruiz on Flickr

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Intimacy in role playing

Horny teachers, naughty schoolgirls, doctors with perverted persuasions and meter maids in suspiciously high heels. Sexual role playing might be great fun, but can also be used as a tool for self exploration, intimacy and sharing.

Naughty schoolgirl.
Naughty schoolgirl.

There is a great difference between acting a role and finding that aspect of yourself. If you are acting it’s like a costume that you put on, which works nicely with the naughty little outfits you find in your local sex shop. But what schoolgirl or meter maid actually dresses like that? It is very much an exaggerated fantasy, which is all good and well, but I find that it is a game of dress up.

If you on the other hand find that aspect of yourself, you are exploring within, but the representations you find there might not be as two dimensional and unproblematic as in theatrical role playing. If you truly connect to your inner horny teacher, there might be some quite worrying imbalances expressing themselves. By meeting those imbalances, playing with them and talking to our partner, we have the opportunity to learn and grow from the experience. We can find a greater understanding for our tendencies and actively choose which to express, rather than being pushed around unconsciously by fantasies. In doing so together we come closer, find a greater understanding and can support each other.

Tantric lovemaking.
Tantric lovemaking.

In the same way that we might explore our shadow sides, we might of course explore our highest forms and aspirations. To take this to a yogic level, you might have sex as god and goddess, as Shiva and Shakti. Or you might find your own inner most enlightened and pure state, to meet that state of your partner.

But role playing in that sense doesn’t have to be limited to exploring personas. In yoga I have often been reminded to remember the energy of the beginning. Whenever you go into a new relationship, there is that very special buzz of something fresh and unexplored. There are many people that explore their naughtiness in order to spice up their stale sex life after many years, but going back to the beginning can do the same. Invoking the energy of the beginning, seeing your lover once more as if it was the very first time, can spice things up without the theatrics.

Taking that one step further, I would like to share with you a scenario that might not be the first that comes to mind when you think of sexual role playing.
– What if… we both pretend that this is our first sexual experience ever? That we are both virgins. That you are my first, and I am yours.

Main photo: Kiss And Makeup by JD Hancock on Flickr

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