My perfect future

We generally get what we ask for. Therefore, it is important to have a clear picture of what we want. This exercise will help you formulate your perfect future. When you can see your goal clearly, it will be easier for you to consciously strive in that direction.

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1. Identify the main areas of your life that you want to work with. You should use these as headings, so it is important that they are short.
Example: health, home, school, spiritual development, family, work, friends, mood.

2. Take three to seven headings and write them down on a piece of paper, with plenty of space under each heading,

3. Now think about each heading individually. What would be your ideal situation? Summarize this in a maximum of seven points under each heading.

4. When you are done you have a clear list of what you want. This is your to-do list to create your perfect life.

5. Now ask for what you want and need. You can for example do so by thinking about and visualizing the end result. Choose a way that feels good for you. The important thing is that you sincerely send that wish out there.

6. From here you can work with the list in the way that feels best to you. Some just put it in a drawer and are confident that their subconscious will do the rest. Others stick it on the refrigerator door so that they are often reminded of what they want. If you really want to immerse yourself in working with the list, you could for example meditate on the various headings and actively and consciously make choices that lead you to realize your ideal future.

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Hallucinogens to heal emotional instability

Hello Daniel,

I’m a 25 year old student of anthropology, sociology and psychology. School is working out well, I take relatively good care of my health and keep the house relatively clean. I am also one of the broken souls that never feels really good. I suspect that I suffer from some emotional disturbance, because I have high peaks where I think I’m better than everyone else, and then I fall into a black hole where I find it very difficult to function normally. Right now I’m in one of those holes, and have been for approximately 4 months (with some bright days/hours). I have previously used antidepressant tablets on a daily basis to stabilize my mood and make life easier, but I stopped because it felt as if I lost a part of myself. And I wasn’t actually rid of my anxiety. I was just somewhat better at dealing with it when it arrived and my panic attacks were less turbulent. Now things are so bad that I am strongly considering going back to them. I have suicidal thoughts and isolate myself completely without external reasons. I absolutely don’t want to die, but I feel weak by the mere thought of life just continuing like this.

I have seen some documentaries and read a lot about how hallucinogens affect our brains and that there is reason to believe that it changes the way we think about the world in the same way as religious experiences might change people’s lives. I have tried it myself a few times, though in recreational context, and last year when I tried truffles I got an incredibly wonderful feeling of my actual place in the world which persisted for several weeks. Then after a while the negative thoughts came back again and with them doubts that these drugs actually help – maybe they just take me farther away from “reality”.

Now I have thought again, and you confirmed what I thought of. Maybe I’ll try to actually medicate myself and give it more than just once. Just the thought that perhaps it can help me stay of the antidepressants makes the world feel a little brighter. Do you think it can help with emotional instability, in the same way as it helps against depression? And if so, which kind of dose would be best?

Thanks in advance!


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Hi Ann,

thank you for an interesting email that raises many thoughts. As you can probably understand, I would have to have a private session with you to be able to give you specific personal advice, but I can discuss some of the issues you raise in a broad sense.

Since you mention suicide, I would like to start off by saying a few words on the subject. I had a friend who chose to commit suicide and several years later I managed to get in touch with him in spirit. He said that there are lives when one needs to experience suicide, but pointed out that it isn’t a choice like any else. If one ends one’s life without having finished one’s life lessons/challenges, you will need to do it all over again in the next life. To kill oneself to avoid a challenge is thus counterproductive, because you will need to redo the whole thing and will suffer in the same way for yet another life. With that in mind, I would like to say like my friend – dare to live.

With that said, let’s move on to your main question of whether hallucinogens can be good tools for working with your mood, and if so, how.

Hallucinogens are excellent tools for aiding in healing depression, emotional instability and such conditions. I have myself healed from severe depression with LSD and have seen many others do the same with mushrooms, San Pedro, Ayahuasca, and even Cannabis. I would however not recommend Cannabis initially, because it is the only one of the plants and substances that I have listed that I perceive has an actual addictive potential, and at the same time it is not as potent as the other plants/substances.

There are plenty of stories of miraculous healing with these plants and substances, but I want to discourage you from approaching them as some kind of quick fix. Sure, you might fix your emotional instability with a single trip, but it is much more likely that you need to put a lot of work into healing yourself. The plant or substance in that context is only a tool. You will need to do the work to heal yourself, so be prepared for that.

What to do first?

Without knowing much about your specific problems I would probably first advise you to clean out your life. Your mood originates from somewhere; possibly from old wounds and relationships. If there is too much other clutter, you will need to spend a lot of time cleaning it all out of the way, instead of diving into the core of things. Therefore, you should get rid of as much clutter as possible in advance, in your everyday life.

First off – promise yourself to recover and to do whatever you need to do so. Then examine your life and remove everything that is not favorable to you. They might include things, relationships, ways of seeing reality, and more. Remove anything that does not benefit you. There are certain things that you should really get rid of completely, because they disrupt your energy structure: alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, drugs (here I do not count hallucinogens) and sex where you do not respect yourself. The first two are particularly important, as they clog the body’s energy structure and are in their very essence self-destructive.

Once you’ve done that, I would consider that you are ready to begin working with hallucinogens for healing.

How do I work with hallucinogens?

Once again I feel I should point out that you would need to book a private session with me for proper counseling. The answers I can give you here are general.

There are two questions that I think would be good for you to ask yourself initially:
1. Do I need a shaman/therapist/guide?
2. What plant or substance should I work with?

Based on what you have written, I think it would be wise for you to work with a shaman/therapist who not only knows hallucinogens, but who also understand the kind of mental states that you are struggling with. Someone like me could help with such things as:
● To help you prepare for your trip/trips
● To maintain a safe and secure place for you to meet and work with yourself
● During the trip to do things like clearing away blockages, parasitic energies, conveying messages from spirit helpers or channeling healing energy
● During and after the trip to be your mirror and discussion partner
● After the trip to help you structure your continued work and help you maintain your focus

Some people can do all this themselves, because they have an innate ability to work with their own development, but I feel that far from all can do so. Many instead risk going wrong, getting trapped, or even being frightened by the experience and taking several steps backwards. If you feel with you that you cannot do this by yourself, I would advise you to work with someone who can support you. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a shaman or therapist, but could also be a friend who has the knowledge and the abilities that I have described.

Plant/substance and dose

It is impossible for me to say in advance what kind of dose you should have. I always double check what dose a client should have before a session. Usually I do so with tarot cards, but I also use my common sense. I generally prefer high doses, because it will lower your defenses and allow to quickly go in depth with the actual problem. But what is an average dose for one person can be a high dose of another, so you need to determine the dose on an individual basis.

Which plant or substance is most appropriate in your case is in the same way hard for me to speculate. That is also something I would check in advance. Usually I find that it is clear which plant, substance and even who you should work with, because they tend to appear when you are ready. If you need LSD, LSD will come knocking at your door and if you are meant to work with a specific shaman/therapist, your attention will be directed to them.

Set reasonable expectations

Hallucinogens are surrounded by an almost magical aura. I have seen many miraculous events on hallucinogens, but to expect a miracle is not reasonable. If you are supposed to have a miracle, it will come to you, but it’s much more likely that you need to work devotedly to recover. Get ready to do so.

It is reasonable to expect that you will devote considerable attention to this for at least a year and during that time you might need to take several trips. Periodically you may even have to trip quite often. But tripping is not the thing. The trip shakes things up and loosens things, but it is between trips, in your sober state, that you will need to work actively to translate the insights that you got into your normal life.

For example, if you come to realize that you are making yourself ill through the relationships you have, with what you eat or how you behave, you will need to sort those things out. Although it can happen, it is not a reasonable expectation that the hallucinogens will collect all that is bothering you and remove it. You will need to do that work.

Photo: Bang-bang by Yuliya Libkina on Flickr

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The last beer

It was approximately two years after I had stopped drinking that a thought struck me one especially nice summer day. “Hey, wouldn’t it be nice with a cold beer right now? You should be able to drink just a little, seeing that you’ve been sober for so long. It’s no problem.” a naughty little voice seemed to whisper in my ear.

So I went to the liquor store and bought two beers. I opened on of them and took a few gulps when the rest of my body screamed out in anger and disgust. “What the fuck are you doing!? Why do you want to poison me? What you just drank is poison. Poison! Stop it! I beg of you!”

It was two gulps – hardly enough to fill a small glass a third of the way up – but my body was sickened by it. Looking back I understand that I have been in similar situations many times. I have done something that has triggered my body to protest violently, such as eating sweets after having been sugar free for a long time. So I know from experience that it is quite easy to push past that initial nausea. You just keep eating or drinking or smoking and after a while you are all poisoned again and have forgotten all about your body’s protest.

But on that day I didn’t push on. I put the two bottles on the pavement, one almost full and the other unopened, and I walked away. And I know that I am never walking back to that.

Photo: Sleep little angel by Gideon on Flickr

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The choice

There is only one essential step to breaking free of addictive behaviour. Stop doing it. It doesn’t matter if you’re quitting alcohol, drugs, smoking, gambling, overworking, overeating or fucking strangers. The process has one step. Stop it.

Many people have put a lot of effort into finding ways to achieve that. They have invented treatments and drugs, but no matter what framework one constructs around it all, it still all comes down to making that choice. No treatment will make the slightest difference if one is not dedicated to the choice of kicking the habit. That is why it is a waste of time trying to treat someone that does not want treatment.

Photo: Portrait #119 PérineMallory Friendly smoking by Valentin Ottone on Flickr

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Proof that Westboro Baptist Church are legit

You know Westboro Baptist Church? They’re the ones with all the signs saying how much God hates fags, soldiers, Jews, America, Muslims, Sweden and pretty much everyone you know. I don’t know how it happened, but I came to think of them as I was taking a crap. A lot of people seem to be very offended by them – some don’t even think of them as a legitimate religion – but as I was sitting there I realized that they really capture the essence of religion very well.

God hates fags

Now what is more offensive? Is it a) a Westboro Baptist Church sign saying that God hates fags, or is it b) the fact that religions have persecuted homosexuals for thousands of years, killing, maiming, imprisoning, torturing and just being their nastiest towards people because of a difference in sexual orientation? And hey, don’t pretend that it isn’t still happening. Religion has been so effective in its hatred that the hatred has been woven into the very fabric of society, justifying hate crimes across the globe.

God hates the troops

What is more offensive? Is it a) Westboro Baptist Church picketing the funerals of dead soldiers, or is it b) sending millions of people to their death in the name of God, encouraging the soldiers to pillage, rape and torture their way across the land before they meet their maker? If one takes religion seriously God seems to be on every side of every conflict since the dawn of man. This God character the preachers claim are blessing all troops must really hate everyone.

God hates Jews

What is more offensive? Is it a) Westboro Baptist Church making signs saying that Gods hate Jews, or is it b) the ongoing persecution of an entire people, where the Holocaust was nothing more than a logical outcome of thousands of years of systematic harassment? Even Jews must think that God hates them, seeing what a total dick he is being to them.

What is more offensive? Is it stating the obvious, or is it justifying all nasty shit that we do to each other with religion? Who is the actual problem here? Is it a) Westboro Baptist Church, or is it b) organized mainstream religion?

Photo: MarriageEquality (14 of 109) by Stephen Luke on Flickr

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About indigo and crystal children

What are indigo and crystal children? I have read that they only have one chakra and that they have no karma. I have also read that they are helpers sent to heal this wounded world. Is that true?

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My understanding is that indigo and crystal children are a couple of concepts (among many) that attempt to describe the next generation in the human evolutionary process, which centers around a rising of awareness. They have certain characteristics that they share with many, but which are so prominent in those generations that it stands out.

To take an example, it is common that indigo and crystal children do not automatically accept authority or orders. They need explanations, not reprimands, which is a trait that is often attributed to the 80’s baby boomers and beyond.

Another characteristic feature is greater empathy. They are generally more sensitive than the often somewhat blunt generations before them. Their ability to pick up on things that others miss lets them; for example, see through the many everyday lies that surround us. Lies are also something they often sharply distance themselves from. These are traits that are highlighted also in concepts like HSP or in increasingly popular diagnoses, such as high-functioning autism (Asperger).

I have not noticed that these children are essentially different from others in terms of the chakras or karma. They face life’s challenges, just like everyone else, and they bring their life lessons with him, just as we all do. The difference is that they have other, refined if you so will, prerequisites. When the environment is wise and loving these children blossom to be totally amazing people with extraordinary gifts, but when the environment is unsympathetic and blunt they are violated as we try to convince them that they are wrong. Without support they easily slip into depression, mental illness or addiction.

Sure, it would be easy to perceive them as “helpers sent to heal the world”, because if we follow their lead the world will recover. But I do not perceive that they necessarily come with that purpose and we should not have that expectation of them as individuals. It isn’t their thing to save us, but rather each one of us needs to take responsibility for our own salvation.

I sometimes make the comparison to different operating systems. These children are Windows 10, while a typical person from the 1960’s is Windows 3.11. It would be best if the older generations tried to follow the younger and update their systems. Unfortunately we often do the opposite. Our social system tries to educate children to be less than what they are, ie downgrading them. The former Swedish education minister Jan Björklund, for example, is a typical 3.11 person. He loses it when he meets Windows 10, because he does not understand how the system is built and it is way too fast for him to comprehend. But because he sees himself as what is normal and desirable, he tries to reduce the performance of the children. Of course he has the best of intentions in doing so, but he lacks the understanding that the generation that he wants to help actually overtook him a long time ago.

Another who has described that eloquently, but in a different time, is Kahlil Gibran in his text about the children in The Prophet. Our children are teachers send to us from the future, and so it has always been. It has just not always been as clear as today, since we are in the midst of a shift in consciousness.

Photo: Dream of an Orphanage child by SAM Nasim on Flickr

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Advice for a girl who refuses to free herself from the mother who abuses her

Teddy Bears and Bruises by DualD FlipFlop on Flickr– Do this. Make a solemn promise to yourself that whatever happens, you will let your mother abuse and mistreat you. Promise yourself to be her punching bag. Promise yourself to swallow her frustration and anger without uttering a word. If you promise yourself that, at least you will succeed in being true to the promise you have made to yourself.

Photo: Teddy Bears and Bruises by DualD FlipFlop on Flickr

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The wrong messenger

I was 19 at the time when her mother called us upstairs. She had obviously been drinking and now it was time to shock the children.

– You should find her g-spot, she said to open the conversation.
It was awkward to say the least. My girlfriend and I blushed as her mother gave us specific directions on where to find the spot.

With red cheeks we then went downstairs to her room, turned off the light and tried not to remember what we had just been told. I did such a good job that I didn’t actually find the spot until 15-20 years later.

If I would have known what an amazing spot it was I would have arrived earlier, but being told by someone’s mother to go there quite put me off it.

Photo: Psychedelic Trip by new 1lluminati on Flickr

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Goo, glue and sticky

For a long time I thought that I only suffered from sex addiction. Then she made it clear to me that I abuse relationships as well.

After exploring it for a while I found a metaphor that I think is a pretty good illustration of three levels of my problem. I call it gooey, gluey and sticky.

The goo is easy to spot. It is the grossest sex addiction, where the other person is no more than a body for me to project my fantasies on. It is just as messy and disgusting as it sounds.

The gluey is not as vulgar, and can often be mistaken for love. I do not feel whole in myself, therefore I must attach myself to someone else in order to feel whole. There jealousy, manipulations and control needs grow, because everything that threatens the state of things can quickly turn my world upside down and make me feel half again.

The sticky is the Post-It variation of it all. I so very much like being with you and I miss you before even having left you. I can leave you, even if it is under some anguish, but the longing lingers. This feels much better than the gooey or gluey, and I experience it as part of the recovery process, but it still isn’t in balance.

Sometimes I get to the point where even the sticky ceases to be. There is only bubbling joy, laughter and gratitude for everything that I get. It is all a part of the adventure of lovingly dancing through life. It just is. When I stop chasing things. When I stop expecting. When I don’t even hope for a specific outcome. When I let go of trying to control things. When I stop comparing. Then I get everything I want, without even having to ask for it.

Photo: From the End of the Bed by Lies Thru a Lens on Flickr

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Fishing like an Egyptian

– How many Egyptians does it take to catch a fish?

– 5. One sticks the worm on the hook, one throws out the line, one gets the fish off the hook, one beats it to death and finally one holds the fish bag.

Did you get it? Perhaps not, because it wasn’t supposed to be a funny story. That is how I actually saw the Egyptians fish when I visited Alexandria.

I soon realized that it was all about division of labour. Instead of one guy fishing, they divided the work among themselves. On the one hand it was ridiculously inefficient and meant that everything seemed to be done in slow motion. On the other hand no one was left out.

In Sweden we instead let a few super efficient fishermen trawl fish to the brink of extinction, while thousands more have nothing to do and cannot afford to buy any fish.

As the Swede I am, I admit that the Egyptian inefficiency got on my nerves. But thinking logically about it all, the Swedish system is certainly much worse.

Photo: Trawler in Johnstone Strait by Winky on Flickr

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