The Sea cow that taught me a lesson

I had a little left of several different kinds of cubensis mushrooms.
– Mushrooms are mushrooms, I thought to myself. The active ingredient is still psilocybin.
After drinking the tea with the mushroom mixture I lay down to meditate.

Cacophony and anger.
A variety of entities tried to speak at the same time.

It was an effort to regain some sort of control. I managed to make contact with an entity that resembled a Sea cow. It calmed the others down and then explained to me in detail how incredibly stupid and disrespectful I was to have mixed all these different entities. Although we humans with our rudimentary knowledge of chemistry can trace a specific chemical formula in all these mushrooms, they are by no means the same. Each plant has its own specific energy. It has an origin and has grown in a specific place. A wild Swedish Liberty cap is very different from a grown Cambodian Cubensis, even if the effects can seem similar. Plant teachers come with different skills, the Sea cow explained.

After that I got to meet each entity separately and thoroughly apologize and promise never to mix them again. I was really ashamed of myself.

Photo: Endangered Florida manatee (Trichechus manatus) by David Hinkel

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Follow the heart, not the technical specifications

When I decided to buy my very first smartphone, I felt instinctively that I wanted an iPhone.

But then I started thinking. And thinking soon went on to investigating everything about smartphones. I soon came to realize that the iPhone was not the best at anything. It didn’t have the most memory, it didn’t have the best camera, it didn’t have the best battery life… In short it was, according to all technical specifications, quite mediocre.

So I bought a Samsung Omnia instead. The Samsung was the best at everything.

The only catch, I soon realized, was that you needed to have an engineering degree to set the alarm. Of all the phones I’ve ever had, it was probably the dumbest and worst of them all. I’ve never been so dissatisfied with a phone in my life.

Next time I set out to buy a new phone I did not think; I just felt. I did not check the technical specifications; I had confidence that the phone I got would meet my needs. I bought an iPhone and I have never been so pleased.

I notice that is often the case in life. When I follow my heart I am always very happy with the result. If I know something in my heart, but then allow the mind to interfere, it often persuades me to something else, and I almost always end up being dissatisfied.

Note to self: follow your heart and feeling. Only connect the mind when the heart does not know. Otherwise you will find yourself sitting there with a Samsung Omnia that can barely be used as a phone.

Photo: IPhone’s game is addictive by John Ragai on Flickr

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My guru knows

My guru.
My guru.

We were at the megalithic monument Ale’s Stones, my daughter and I. I think it is an incredibly powerful and impressive place. She was not nearly as impressed. She was more impressed by the cows. And the sea below.

And when I think about it – what is any man-made rock formation in comparison to the FORCE OF LIFE and POWER OF NATURE? It is kind of ridiculous to stand there and be impressed over some mossy old stones when there is a real live cow and a wild sea just next to us.

My guru knows what to be impressed by.

Photo: 2010-05-22 06-05 Schweden 0600 Ales Stenar by Allie_Caulfield on Flickr

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A box filled with stuff I don’t understand

I suspect that many atheists have a box labeled ”Shit I don’t understand and refuse to investigate”. I had one myself and looking back I can see it was very important to me as an atheist. Without it my world would be filled with conflicting experiences, but instead of having to deal with these conflicting experiences I could just stuff anything I couldn’t wrap my head around into the box.

There was quite a lot of stuff in that box. Experiences of spirits at an early age. An out of body experience. The time I saw a genuine UFO. Life kept throwing strange things my way and I kept stuffing them into the box. Once in a while I would tell someone one of those strange tales, but it was always with a smile and a laugh. Never too serious or with the intention of actually examining the experience.

It took me a couple of years after I stopped drinking before I could really get to terms with that box. Drinking itself was a lid on all such experiences and I came to understand that I had been drinking to sedate myself from spiritual experiences. Once I stopped drinking they were soon so numerous that I could no longer ignore them. That’s when I invented my new box “Shit I don’t understand, but hope to understand some day”. That box is absolutely huge and I love stuffing things into it and I often look at what’s in it, to see if there’s anything I can get closer to understanding.

Nowadays I find it interesting to see how atheists will quickly try to pack things away and refuse to talk about them. And quite often they pat themselves on the back for their refusal to discuss such things, as if it was in any sense a rational behavior. Rational and logical to me would be to empty the box and try to sort it all out. But that of course would require an open mind, and one thing I have noticed is that atheists are often as closed as many religious people are. Thinking of it many religious people must have the same box.

Atheists and religious people have much more in common than they would like to believe.

Photo: Thinking Inside The Box by David Goehring on Flickr

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The war on drugs will soon be over

For the know nothing cannabis opponents the world must really be turning upside down right now. Yesterday they were on top of it. All the pundits were on their side, the government propaganda was on their side and it all just seemed so simple.

5143320976_3438e95a87_zThen all of a sudden there was the critical mass of people that knew better and the flood gates opened. Overnight several US states legalized the substance and real scientists got to study the direct effects of the change. So the world turned and wobbled and now the anti-cannabis lobby are clinging on to whatever they can find, as not to fall of altogether.

In Sweden we apparently haven’t reached the critical mass yet. A lot of people are raising their voices, more than ever before, but the political parties are even more feverishly dressing in the same attire as the naked king. These are times of polarization and dogmatism, among an ever more pragmatic and tolerant general population.

The more the Swedish political parties can feel the winds of change coming, the more they huddle together in their misconception that harsher drug laws will help end substance abuse. They have already invested so massively in the losing cause, that they refuse to back down until they are thrown out.

It is time to face the fact. The war on drugs is over and the drugs won.

Read more:
Fewer pain pill overdoses in states with legal medical marijuana
Since marijuana legalization, highway fatalities in Colorado are at near-historic lows
Study: couples who smoke marijuana are less likely to engage in domestic violence
Crime down and revenue up in Colorado since start of marijuana legalization
Drugs in Portugal: Did Decrimilization work?

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Letting go when the moment has passed

Grab hold tightly
Let go lightly

The full cup can take no more
The candle burns down
The taut bow must be loosed
The razors edge cannot long endure

Nor this moment re-lived

So now…
Grab hold tightly
Let go lightly

The Moment of Fullness from Psychedelic Prayers by Timothy Leary

● ● ●

$_35Timothy Leary’s Psychedelic Prayers is a adaptation of Lao Tse’s Tao Te Ching for a psychedelic setting. To be more precise it is a book of meditations that are absolutely wonderful to do on LSD, complete with a manual on how to use it for the best results. You read meditations before the trip, during the peak, and after that at four different points in the trip.

If you ever doubted the genius of Timothy Leary, this manual and these meditations will prove it to you. The seemingly simple texts with their ancient Taoist wisdoms unfold and expand while on LSD and reveal worlds of understanding between the lines, words and even letters. If you are able to relax and follow, you will shoot straight out into the universe and gain insight into how it all works.

The meditation above isn’t one of the most powerful, but I am so very fond of it and it has meant the world to me. This is life.

Life is one moment after another.
One challenge after another.
One love after another.

When we find what we are supposed to do in the moment, we should grab on tightly and do it with all our heart. We should experience it to the fullest, throw ourselves into the challenge without hesitation and love unconditionally.

But it is equally, if not even more important to let go of the moment when it done. We cling to people, things and ideas. We become attached to our sense of self and our understanding of the world, and this causes suffering. We suffer because we dare not let go of what we have been holding on to.

People invest so heavily in what they are doing, that in the end they dare not walk away, because who would they be without it? They have invested time, money and prestige. They have climbed the ladder and built an identity around it. And when they are there, in the midst of all that they cling to, the most frightening thing of all to imagine is that it is all a castle built of air.

And of course, it is. How could it ever be anything else?

I have held on to many things in my life. In recent years I could mention something as mundane as politics. I had an interest in politics since I was 17 years old and was elected to city council at 20. I have spent approximately eight years in politics, but I came to a point where it was blocking my life purpose. And it was difficult for me to let go, because I had so many attachments there. Friends, feelings of duty, responsibility, doubt over who I would be without it, the feeling that I would be abandoning others if I left.

I held on several years longer than I should have, and it was truly a pain in the ass, but eventually I mustered the courage to let go. And as soon as I did a weight was lifted from my shoulders and new, greater challenges were laid out before me.

It isn’t always easy, but I try to keep in mind to keep moving. Not to cling to things and create attachments. To let go when the moment is lived, so as not to try to re-live the same moment over and over.

And when that new moment comes, I grab hold tightly and do my best to be brave.

And here it is.

The next moment.

Wish me luck.

Photo: Timothy Leary

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In defence of the police

Yesterday the small neo-nazi party in Sweden gathered in Malmö and had their right to do so protected by hundreds of police. 1500 demonstrators were there protesting the gathering and it all went bananas when the police charged the demonstrators with horses and drove their cars straight in to the crowd. Ten people were injured and from what we can see in the news footage it seems that the police once again used excessive force.

For a long time I was very disappointed with the Swedish police. When I grew up I had a few very unpleasant encounters with them and so did many of my friends. Encounters where the police instigated violence and where they used excessive force without any apparent reason. I have had quite a few friends being beat up in the back of a police car with their hands cuffed behind their backs so that they had no possibility of defending themselves. And of course no policeman has ever been convicted, because the system keeps them safe behind that badge, no matter what they do.

So disappointed is quite the understatement.

Seeing that the police are the only ones sanctioned to use violence in our society, I had expected a professional attitude which included the ability to stay calm and being able to meet provocation. I had expected the police to be caring, confident and secure. I had expected them to be mentally stable, self controlled and truthful. But generally they aren’t.

So I was very disappointed until just recently, when I started thinking about all of that again and noticed that word EXPECTED jump out at me. I had expectations and that is why I was so very disappointed. But if my expectations are unreasonable, do I still have a real reason to be disappointed?

Because let’s face it. The police are far from the sharpest tools in the shed. I have had a look at their scholarly merits, and intellectually what is mid-range among the rest of us, is close to brilliant if you’re part of the police force. If you want to feel ultra smart – join the police. The education we give them fuels dogmatism, narrow thinking, lets homophobia/sexism/racism slide, doesn’t give sufficient tools for self control and mental stability, but on the contrary favours violent tendencies and machoism, while not dealing with bad behaviour in the police force.

That being the case it seems extremely unreasonable to expect them to be something that they are not. They are small boys and girls in very strong bodies, but with a lack of self control and with the intellectual and emotional capacity of a high school student. I feel truly sorry for them, because they can impossibly live up to my expectations of the police, because they will need to live many more lives before they achieve the emotional maturity that I have expected of that function.

That is not their fault. They are doing the best they can with the tools that they have, and for that we should be truly thankful.

Photo: Riot police blocking the way to the parliament building on Sunday night by Ivan Bandura on Flickr

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Making room for the one that I want

I was single and really longed for someone to eat breakfast with. One day while hanging out in my apartment, I realized that there was no room for anyone else but me.

My closet was filled to the brim, my rack in the hall as well. In the bathroom there was barely room for an extra toothbrush and I had a 90 cm wide bed. Where was this person that I wanted to eat breakfast with going to fit?

So I bought a double bed. And I cleaned out half the closet, half the rack and half the bathroom cabinet.

It only took a few months after that. Then she came; the love of my life. It took another couple of months before she moved in. When she did it was all so easy, because there was room for her in my life. And in my apartment too, of course.

Photo: I want you to stay ~ by Merra Marie on Flickr

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Everyone has a context where they are absolutely brilliant

An electronics company were about to launch a revolutionary new product for taxis. The only problem was that they needed to know much more about all the taxis in Sweden – everything from car type to kilometers tariffs.
– Maybe we can send out people to interview virtually all taxi companies, someone suggested at the management meeting.
It was an absurd idea, but the discussion needed to begin somewhere. The information they needed was so detailed that they were worried that it would arouse suspicion about industrial espionage if unknown interviewers would ask the questions.

The frustration at the meeting grew as the solution continued to elude them. Then suddenly someone asked:
– What if we google “all taxis in Sweden”?
At the top of the search results, they found There a guy with a pretty serious Asperger diagnosis had found his life’s calling to document in detail every taxi cab he could find in the country. The page was a detailed directory of all the information the company needed, and more.

The company bought the database for 50.000 Euros and hired the guy with Asperger’s to keep it updated. He, who was considered absolutely impossible to join the workforce because of his diagnosis, got the job that no one else in the whole world could have done better. The job that he loved and would have done even if no one ever paid him.

The story is true, but I have changed the industry for privacy reasons.

Photo: Old Brazilian Taxi sign by Roger Schultz on Flickr

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Explaining to the ignorant

– I’ve had some crazy days. I started to land from the trip early in the morning and to have the strength to go to work, I took a little amphetamine. It worked out great.
– One only uses things like that to escape.
– No, there are many other reasons to take drugs.
– That’s just what you tell yourself.
– There are many other reasons to take drugs.
The conversation halted completely after that. The girl who told me about her crazy trip simply stopped sharing her experience.

● ● ●

– That was seven years ago, but I remember the conversation very clearly. Or rather, I remember the feeling. She knew something I did not know. I had never met anyone who used drugs before, and my answer was to repeat clichés that I had been fed in school.

– I regurgitated stuff I had heard in front of someone who actually had personal experience. I felt ashamed afterwards. I was conceited when I went straight into the conversation with the idea that I knew something and could contribute. Instead of contributing I killed the conversation and when it became apparent that I did not understand I fell silent. It left a deep impression on me.

– Today I have an incredible amount of experience with psychedelics and I understand why she didn’t continue the conversation. I have on several occasions ended up in the same feeling when I have tried to share my experience with someone who has a very limited idea of ​​what psychedelics are about. I understand the resignation when you do not continue the conversation, because you have encountered someone who is filled to the brim with ignorance and silly delusions.

– The notion that drugs are nothing else than an escape… Psychedelics are as far from being an escape as you can ever get. One cannot package the psychedelic experience in a nifty little sentence to deliver in a way so that ignorant people can understand. Explaining requires time and an open mind on the other end.

Photo: Open Your Mind by Toni Protto on Flickr

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