I call it religion

The God that has a lot of thoughts on the smallest of matters is not God. It is mans ego masquerading as God.

The smallest of spirits sometimes present themselves as being much bigger than what they are. Just as man does.

Keep that in mind when someone tries to tell you what God thinks about your foreskin, your masturbation habits or the length of your beard. There is a good chance that you are not speaking with or about God at all. You might be trapped by a con mans ego.

Photo: Reprogramming Your Inner Child by Keoni Cabral on Flickr

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The six hour meditation

I had been sober from alcohol for about a year. It was all so very easy. When I no longer drank life shifted and I soon felt restored.

Then one night I took a high dose mushroom trip. I put on some music, lit a candle and sat down to meditate. Six hours later I was lying in the fetal position, crying uncontrollably. I cried with sorrow, but also out of gratefulness for the insight I had received.

When I sobered up from the alcohol I took all the crap that I had been through, all the trauma that I had caused myself, and crammed it into my backpack. Then I looked forward and started working on how to get where I wanted to be. It was necessary for me to do so, because I didn’t have the energy nor the distance to process my trauma at the time.

But now, a year later and with help from the mushroom, it loosened. After six hours of meditation I understood that although I was cured of my alcohol addiction, I had a lot of work ahead to resolve the blockages and traumas that I had caused myself when I drank. I was free, but far from restored.

It was time to start unpacking my backpack.

Photo: Crying.. by Anders Ljungberg on Flickr

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What if all you believe is wrong?

But what if everything you think you know is wrong?

– Everything I think I know IS wrong. It cannot possibly be any other way. As soon as I use words I restrict whatever I’m trying to describe. As soon as I categorize anything I am saying that it cannot be something else. When I try to bring out the essence of an insight or experience I have had, I always end up with a simplification. I cannot possibly capture the complexity of even a grain of sand. If I’m not able to do even that, how can I believe I truly know something?

ochre woman 2012 by Mardi Grass on Flickr
ochre woman 2012 by Mardi Grass on Flickr

– Just as the scientist I work with theories and hypotheses, simplifications and categorizations. What distinguishes my assumptions from everyone else’s is that they are based on my own experiences in life. Some people base their assumptions on their own life experience. Others base their assumptions on what people told them about how the world works. I may have a theory that something behaves in a certain way, but I try not to put effort into believing things that I have no personal experience of.

– But to understand the world at all we need “truths” to relate to, even though we know deep down that they are not permanent. I know my truths are temporary. And because these truths are not permanent, it goes without saying that they shift through life. My truth today is completely different from the one I lived in 10 years ago, and 10 years from now there will probably only remain fragments of the truth I hold today. Some will be rejected, others replaced, others deepened and some will simply become irrelevant. Meanwhile we evolve as people and meet new challenges. When we do so we don’t only conquer new truths, but we need new truths to continue to develop.

Main photo: Time maschine by Vanda Mesiarikova on Flickr

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Water meditation

I lay flat on the small bridge in the forest. The LSD made ​​it easy to connect with and experience nature’s nuances, but I wasn’t prepared for what would happen when I closed my eyes.

– If I were to meditate a little, I thought and closed my eyes.
Beneath me the water in the little stream rippled.

Earth’s surface consists of 71 percent water. Our bodies consist of 50 to 75 percent water. We rarely think about it, but we are largely water and are strongly influenced by the condition of our inner water.

I closed my eyes and the ripple beneath me put the water in my body in motion. Stagnant water becomes stale and accumulates dirt. When my water was strongly activated, the dirt was released and washed away by the stream. I lay there and rippled, gurgled, breathed and laughed until I was thoroughly rinsed and my water had returned to the balance of the stream and nature.

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The solution to the Israel/Palestine conflict

Everyone’s wondering what the solution to the Israel/Palestina conflict might be, and by chance I have been given the answer to share with you. Well, here it is.

The wrong people are negotiating. That might not come as a surprise at all, since they have been doing such a lousy job of it all up until now, but I’m here to tell you once again. These people (men) have the whole world fooled that they should be at the negotiations at all. They shouldn’t.

What is needed is a forceful mediator and nothing else. And no, I’m most definitely not talking about a John Kerry or similar puppet person. These are not mediators, but also negotiators, only in disguise.

I’m talking about parents. What is needed here is parenting. These quarrelling Israelis and Palestinians are children. The entire conflict is childish and parades all the qualities that we see in childish conflicts – the bullying, the name calling, the obstinate behaviour, the arguing over what belongs to who, the inability to forgive, and so on.

Now I’m not saying that we should condemn childish behaviour. We shouldn’t. But we need to treat children like children, and help them set things straight when they aren’t able to themselves. That’s where the parents come in to the picture. A parent wouldn’t put up with this nonsense longer than it took to get supper ready, and not even that long if the children began blowing up each others toys. This is how a parent would handle it…

– Adam! How many times have I told you not to be shooting that thing at Fatima?! You get over here right now! That’s it. I’ve had it with you. No more guns for you! And you can just forget about those fighters and tanks and cannons too. I told you last time, one more time and I would take it all. And get out of Fatima’s room!

– And you, Fatima. You should know better than to provoke your brother like that! Where are you hiding those rockets? You have until tonight to give me them. All of them. Otherwise there will be a shit storm coming your way. And don’t even think of hiding them with your dirty little friends, because I’m nailing your windows shut and locking your door, so you just sit here and think about what you have done until tonight.

And if the still didn’t quit…

– That’s it. We’ve had it with you, so we had a little family meeting and we have also spoken to child services. It is apparent that you can’t get along at all, and you keep wrecking havoc on each other. This cannot continue, so we have decided that the only rational thing to do is to split you up until you can get along. Fatima, you’re going to go live with your cousins in Lebanon, Egypt and Syria. And Adam, you’re going to go live with your grandparents in Europe and America. And there is no use of arguing and bickering about this. It is final, so go pack your bags. We have spoken to the UN and while you’re gone we will be using your rooms to house refugees.

There is no need for negotiators. To deal with unruly children we need parents.

Photo: Bethlehem Wall by Tracy Hunter on Flickr

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The bully in you

On the subject of bullying…

It isn’t so simple that there are some who are the bullies and others who are the victims. We are all both bullies and victims. We alternate between oppressing and being oppressed. The proportions between the roles can vary, but we all have both sides to us. The person without both sides is like a person without sin.

Yet we talk about bullying as if there was one group of bullies and another of victims. Entire organizations and anti-bullying plans and theme days are structured around the notion that they are two essentially different groups. And what happens then?

Well, we point out one group of people and say “you are the bullies.” We put a label on them and make them into the other. The other that is not like us. The other that is the problem.

And by pointing out the other we never have to see the bully and oppressor in ourselves. By pointing out the other we can continue being and doing exactly what we accuse them of being and doing.

Of course we should workagainstbullying.But the most important thing we can ever do to curb bullying is toidentify and workwith the bully withinourselves,insteadof projectingthe bully onto someone else.

All change begins with yourself.

Photo: Bully by Thomas Ricker on Flickr

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Stumbling between energetic levels

People who are on the verge of raising their energy level often stumble between levels. One day they are in the long-awaited new, and the next they relapse into the rigid old.

I have seen it in people who have awakened to a spiritual reality, but who have yet not fully accepted it. When they are in balance, feeling rested, satisfied, happy and loving, the contact with the highest divine comes naturally and is carefree. When they feel good, they accept a spiritual reality, have their own experiences of it and feel comfortable about it.

However, when they lose their balance, doubt steps in and they return to the materialist worldview that they have been programmed with. Yesterdays great insights are dismissed without thought or talk, and at the same time cynicism comes creeping in together with despair.

Some decide that they actually do not dare or want to raise their energy level, but most get back on track. Life wants to live and evolve.

Photo: O Dom do Passo by jeronimo sanz on Flickr

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The difference between different spirit beings

Sometimes people ask me how I can be certain that I was actually speaking to an angel or such. How can I know that it wasn’t some other spirit just leading me on? Well, when communicating with the spirit world it is easy for me to feel the difference between entities. They feel completely different to each other.

There is much more to know on the subject than what I can tell you. I can only tell you what I have firsthand experience of.

First of all people seem to have different resonances going into communication with the spirit world. I seldom attract anything other than pure, helpful energies, or energies that are in need of my help. It’s just the way that I am wired. I also seem to come with a finely tuned bullshit sensor, because the few times that I have been in contact with entities that might be misleading or considered dark, I have laughed out loud and dismissed them. These energies feed off our fear and insecurity, and in contact with the spirit world I am not afraid. And no, I’m not going to knock on wood while saying so, because they are nothing more than shadows.

Moving on.

Being in contact with a ghost, as I would call a deceased person that hasn’t passed over, is like speaking to someone who is drunk. The ghost hasn’t moved on, because it is confused, and it might not even know that it is dead. There is nothing inherently evil or bad in a ghost. It’s just a confused spirit that needs help.

A spirit that has moved on, on the other hand, is in the light and sees things clearly. Such a contact might be very clear and have access to the higher truths. When I first began communicating with spirits at this level it was easy to believe that everything they said was true. I still have great faith in them, but I have come to realize that they still have a personality, an ego, and might have an interest in what they are saying. One mustn’t confuse being in contact with higher truths, with being enlightened.

Now those types of energies are quite different from angels. I have been in contact with three different kinds of angels. Guardian angels and helper angels are just really nice energies, helpful a caring, and seem to be beyond or without ego.

Energetically archangels are a very different story. The archangels I have met are huge and radiant. If you have one close by, you will notice, because it fills up the room. At the very least you should notice when it leaves, because it leaves an energetic vacuum behind. It’s similar to the empty feeling that arises if someone is sitting really close for a long while, and all of a sudden decides to leave. The archangels have very archetypical energies with a purpose, such as overseeing life, death and transformation (Ishmael) or helping in healing (Raphael).

Romanian tanks attack during Combined Resolve II by 7th Army Joint Multinational Training Command on Flickr
Romanian tanks attack during Combined Resolve II by 7th Army Joint Multinational Training Command on Flickr

Returning to the initial question – how can I be sure it isn’t another spirit just leading me on? Well, because I have had contact with quite a few different entities by now, I have familiarized myself with them and my bullshit sensor isn’t going off. If you are speaking to an archangel, you will most likely know that it is an archangel you are speaking to. For me it just isn’t plausible that a shadow would be able to imitate an archangel, because their energetic signatures are so vastly different. It’s kind of like asking about this tank: “how do you know that it isn’t just a Mini Cooper masquerading as a tank?” Well, I must always leave room for a little slither of doubt, but I would be extremely surprised if that were the case. In fact, I find the notion so farfetched that I’m not even going to investigate it. Tell me if you find anything else that suggests that this tank is actually a Mini Cooper, and I might have a look.

Photo: I’m just walking with a ghost And it’s walking by my side by Instill Moments on Flickr

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Spiritual, but not religious

The day that I understood that religious people could also be spiritual, I was baffled. Being a spiritual person, but not at all religious, I see the two as contradictory in many ways.

Yeah, Happy Easter To You Too, Lady! by Jackie on Flickr
Yeah, Happy Easter To You Too, Lady! by Jackie on Flickr

When I look at religion I see institutionalized faith, made up of manmade rules, hierarchies, traditions, ceremonial spectacles and books that need to be interpreted. I see administration, systems of control, systems of oppression, buildings, power, indoctrination, opium for the people, and a system that to a great extent is run on fear. I see movements that enjoy tax exemptions, freedom of religion and that tell people what to think.

Spirituality on the other hand is my own connection to all that is and the realization that I am an aspect of the divine. Once I have that connection I don’t need books, rules or preachers, because I simply have to tune in to know what is right and blessed in any given moment. Spirituality is love, compassion and being truthful in life. It is listening. Spirituality is often persecuted (yes, even in the west) and enjoys no tax breaks. True spirituality, as far as I can see, is what is most threatening to religion, which is apparent when one looks back at the atrocities committed towards spiritual people by organized religious movements.

As I said, I was baffled when I learnt that there were people who considered themselves to be religious AND spiritual. In my contact with the divine I find nothing that compels me to build or support religion. On the contrary, it is telling me that religion is an expression of the greed and hunger for power that totally perverts people.

The God that I am in contact with couldn’t care less what hat you wear, how long your beard or hair is, what meat you eat or don’t eat or what plates you serve things on. The highest divine that speaks to and through me does not tell me to mutilate children’s genitals, shame sex or segregate people.

So for me it is quite bizarre to mix the two. It’s like mixing petrol and water, and expecting something nice to drink. I’m still having a hard time wrapping my head around that one.

Photo: The feeling of sun on fingertips by Keoni Cabral on Flickr

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Promise to be the one who loves the most

I think I was 16 at the time. We were having sex when she suddenly told me that she had been unfaithful. I was immediately turned on by the thought that she had been with another and asked her to tell me more, which she did. The details about how she had been to a party, where she followed this older guy to a barn, made ​​me so excited that I had never experienced anything like it.

Then I came.

And then my head turned inside out. Feelings of disgust and shame washed over me. An anger bubbled up in me that led to a fight, but a well-aimed kick to my balls left me curled up on the floor.

After that relationship, I promised myself never again to be the one who loves the most. I promised myself to always put myself first. I built a wall around my emotions, sedated myself with alcohol and even though I had intense loves even after that, there were always parts of myself that were shut down. After a while it all went on autopilot. I had several girlfriends who were unfaithful to me and I ruined relationships by being shut down and egotistical.

I didn’t think much of it all until almost 20 years later, when I came across a particularly tough energy block in the stomach area. At first it was really vague. I went at it with deep meditation, psychedelics, with sex and yoga. It has taken me several years to reach the point where I actually know what it is. It was last year that it really became clear, first in one very important relationship, and then in another. I have clawed at it, massaged, cleared and wished it away. And I have certainly made a lot of progress, but it isn’t completely gone.

It has taken me a long time to get here, but now I know what I need to do to remove it completely.

I need to activate the block, go into the trauma and choose differently. I need to meet up emotionally where 16-year-old Daniel was unable to do so. Enter the trauma and choose differently.

I think I know how it will play out. I need to have a relationship with someone I am deeply in love in. I need to hold her in my arms while she has sex with another. I need to feel turned on and excited, and then I need to come. When I trigger the trauma I need to keep my awareness and set a new reaction pattern to my feelings. I see that I will probably break down and cry, but when I have done so and when I have decided to always be the one who loves the most, I will be free.

● ● ●

Trauma doesn’t lie in the event itself, but in our reaction to it. Our reaction in the moment of trauma is often unconscious. An extremely effective way to resolve a trauma is to trigger it and then consciously choose another reaction to it.

Photo: from Bertolucci’s film Novecento.

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