Men are lousy sex partners

My friend phoned me and told me that she loved it that I dare be so provocative. It took me a while to understand that it was yesterday’s blog post she was referring to.

– What do you mean provocative? I really do not understand.
– Lots of men must have been really pissed off when they read that.

I don’t know… Are you? I just assumed that most of my closer friends actually managed to get outside themselves by now, that you actually manage to satisfy your partner. But I don’t usually interview you about your sex life, so maybe you don’t?

You have questions. by Todd on Flickr
You have questions. by Todd on Flickr

Maybe it’s like that tantra class when the teacher asked the class how long we thought that a standard intercourse lasted and I answered 20-30 minutes. Half of the class looked at me as if I were a complete idiot from another planet.

The correct answer turned out to be somewhere between two and four minutes. Two and four minutes. I’m not trying to sound like a tantric master here, but a quickie for me is between 40 and 60 minutes. In extreme cases, I guess I can get that down to 10 to 20 minute, if I really… No, I really can’t remember the last time I came so quickly. * When I’m into it 3 to 5 hours and more is not unusual.

But two to four minutes, is the answer. Does that mean that every time I have sex for three hours, 180 men barely keep it together for a minute?

If that is the competition, it really doesn’t take much to qualify as a sex god. Now, there are probably those who think that those quotes which I blogged yesterday were actually my own, but they weren’t. However, I really recognize myself in what my friend said. It is a bit scary that several girls have told me that I am the best they have ever had, while I myself thought that the sex was quite ordinary.

I spoke to an old mistress yesterday who told me that she had had four sexual partners since me. None of them made her come. They all came, but no one got her to come. And it’s not like it’s hard to get her to come, she always came several times, but … no.

But but but but but but…

All of you, I’m not quite sure how many you are, sitting there thinking “that Daniel is lying his teeth out. He was a crappy lay.” I was a crap lay until April 2013. I was one of those men who primarily hunted my own orgasm. I don’t think I was ever down to two to four minutes, my big cock has always helped save the show and I have at least tried to give my partner an orgasm or two, but I have been a miserable and selfish fuck.

I was particularly lousy before age 32, because then I did not dare even talk with my partners about what we liked, what we wanted to do and everything else. It was dead silent between us in relation to sex, so we groped our way around and every once in a while did something right. That’s retarded!

This post is getting a little flimsy and I fumble for the point.

You men. I suspect I am not alone in having had this feeling. Have you ever been to the pub and seen men behave so badly towards women that you are so utterly disgusted and nauseated that you are ashamed to be a man?

That is how I feel when I hear that my former mistress hasn’t had an orgasm by four men in a row.
That is how I feel when I hear that a normal sexual intercourse is two to four minutes.
That is how I feel when someone I have sex with for the second time, and that has obviously had a score of sexual partners before me, explains that I’m the best they ever had.

I stole this picture. Please tell me if you want credit.
I stole this picture. Please tell me if you want credit.

This is not okay.
Not at all.

I managed to get out of my own sexual fog little more than a year ago. That’s how long I have been a pretty good lover. I other words, I’m a beginner. Honestly, I don’t really know what I’m doing. I’m doing the best I can and trust my intuition and big cock, but I shouldn’t be considered a sex god. Not yet anyway. I should be right at the beginning, but I am obviously in the forefront. That is not right.

Men.
You REALLY need to shape up!

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A sex secret revealed

“nude” man by CGP Grey on Flickr. www.CGPGrey.com

– I have realized that very few guys are good at having sex. Most have not learnt the basics on how to satisfy their partners even by the time they turn 50. Pretty much all the girls I have had sex with have said to me afterwards, “wow, I don’t know what it is you do, but you satisfy me in the most amazing ways. I’ve had sex with lots of guys, but never has anyone been able to satisfy me as you do.”

What are you doing?
– Nothing in particular. I observe her and make sure to give her what she wants while also enjoying myself. But apparently that is something very special. Something quite exceptional. When something as simple as that becomes a “special feature”, then I really feel sorry for the girls.
– But hey… Do not reveal the secret. You might just destroy my reputation as a sex god.[:]

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Meditating in a cemetery

– You’re going to be scared, he assured me.
– I find that highly unlikely.
– Trust me, you will. There are spirits at work here.
– I’m open to the experience, but I would be very surprised if anything here manages to scare me.

Grave Intentions by jimmy brown on Flickr
Grave Intentions by jimmy brown on Flickr

Then we split up and each found our own spot in the cemetery, where we sat down to meditate with the hindu goddess Kali – the goddess of death and transformation. It was in the middle of the night and dark all around. I invoked her energy and also clearly said that I was open to being scared.

Then we meditated for three hours.

I had some nice emotions and images connected to death and transformation. I saw myself eating my own foot which I had chopped off. I saw myself working in a deep tunnel, unaware that my canary was dead. But was I scared? Not the slightest.

And as if wanting to underline that there was nothing to be afraid of, behind the cemetery a pond of frogs were going totally crazy with mating calls. “Make sweet, sweet love to me”, they were crying out, while we were doing our best to get scared out of our wits.

Why I wasn’t scared? Well, there are at least three reasons.

1. Spirits aren’t scary. They are spirits, nothing else. Most spirits are very nice. Some need our help. Others are confused. A few are “bad” or “scary”. I know a lot of people freak out even thinking about them, but I am not one of them. I have met “scary” spirits, but my spontaneous response has been to laugh at them. I don’t laugh at them because I think laughing is a safe response. I don’t think at all. The laughter just bubbles up inside me, because “scary spirits” bark loudly, but are, in my experience, the tiniest of dogs.

2. Cemeteries are quiet spots. There might be a few cemeteries that are haunted, but generally cemeteries lack spirit activity. It is a place for burying dead bodies and a place of maggots feasting on those bodies. There is quite a lot of sadness expressed at cemeteries, but there is very little trauma. In those cases that spirits linger, they tend to linger at home or where they died. They don’t follow the body around, because they are separated from it. You can of course call on spirits anywhere, but to be quite honest I find it easier to get in contact with them in my own kitchen over a cup of tea, than in a quiet cemetery.

3. Death is the celebration of life. The Indian guru Osho expressed it beautifully when he said “Death is not the axe that cuts down the tree. It is the fruit that grows on it”. Understanding that life is at the very core of existence and never ceases, has made me confident that death is nothing more than a transformation, which is for the best. I can want to avoid pain, suffering and sadness, but not death.

Premiärministern by danieljordahl on Flickr
The Prime Minister by danieljordahl on Flickr

So I started thinking. What places would be scarier to meditate on than a cemetery? Well… What about a slaughterhouse, while pigs and cows are being killed and sawed up? Or perhaps somewhere laden with trauma, like a place where people have been tortured and killed? Or why not in parliament, where people take the right to pass bills to oppress and persecute other humans and destroy the planet?

If there is something scary in this world, it isn’t spirits. It is living, breathing human beings doing wrong, while they are convinced that what they are doing is right.

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Forward or stand still

GO by planetlight on Flickr
GO by planetlight on Flickr

Forward

Meet people and say hello
Love
Help
Listen
Forgive

Dance
Practise
Travel
Hike
Read relevant or beautiful things

Create
Write
Make things from scratch, such as cooking, sewing, tanning…
Tell about what is relevant and true
Meditate

STOP by planetlight on Flickr
STOP by planetlight on Flickr

Stand still

Play computer games
Watch TV
Reading the newspaper and other nonsense
Isolation
Martyrdom

Talk nonsense and superficialities
Provoke and search conflict
Masturbation and meaningless sex
Addiction

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Must and want

Project Four by Katie Brady on Flickr.
Project Four by Katie Brady on Flickr.

– I have so very much to do. I must arrange a meeting with the organizing group, I must create an event and mail out invitations. I must write posts for the blog and I must do a press release…
She interrupted me.
– Over and over you are repeating that these are things that you MUST do. Isn’t there anything here that you WANT to do?

I paused and realized that every single must that I had uttered was actually something I wanted to do. I had initiated all of it, I had gotten myself and others involved, I had put my energy into it and wanted to see it come true. And now, I sat here and talked about it as if it had been forced on me. So I started from scratch.

– I have so very much that I WANT to do. I WANT to have a meeting with the organizing group. I want to put together an event and mail out invitations. I want to write blog posts and a press release.

Instead of the burden of must, I suddenly felt inspired.

– I want to get started on this right now, I said, feeling the urge bubbling in my body.

● ● ●

What do you feel you MUST do?
What do you feel you want to do?

Are there times when you describe what you want , that is such that you have made for you based on interests and desires, as the mast ? If you do, what happens to your desire and motivation? What happens to your motivation if you start calling them WANT again?

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It’s all about the Sweden Democrats

Photo: Green party of Karlstad. The sign reads
Photo: Green party of Karlstad. The sign reads “Turn your back on racism”.

In Sweden one would think that this EP election is all about one single political party – the racist Sweden Democrats.

Stories of them are absolutely flooding my newsfeed, and I don’t even think that I know anyone that votes for them. But everyone is going out of their way to get them into the spotlight. They are booing, turning their backs on them, criticizing their campaign, sending back their material to them and just keep going on and on about them.

Are the other political parties even campaigning? I don’t know, because even the other parties seem preoccupied with talking about the Sweden Democrats.

The consensus seems to be that everybody hates them and want them to shrivel up and die.

How they are going to achieve that by giving them 90 percent of my news feed is absolutely beyond me. The Sweden Democrats hardly have to put up a tent before the place is swarming with people making it into a media event.

Here’s a suggestion. Instead of following them around and turning your backs on them – try not being there in the first place. Don’t give them the time of day, don’t bother about them at all. Don’t repost all kinds of shit about them and don’t drown everyone around you in bullshit concerning them.

If that doesn’t keep them away from power, at least it will make my news feed a lot nicer.

Photo: Almedalsveckan Sverigedemokraterna Jimmie Akesson_20140701_0134 by News Oresund on Flickr

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Protecting yourself

Guardian of the Tree of Life by Waiting For The Word on Flickr
Guardian of the Tree of Life by Waiting For The Word on Flickr

If you think you need protection,
if you think you need talismans,
charms, stones and spells
to defend you and keep you safe,
then you need them.

If you know that you are always protected;
that nothing bad can ever happen to you,
that you can face life’s challenges
and therefore don’t need any protection,
then you do not need it.

This principle is as true in the ordinary world
as it is in the spirit world.

Don’t force anyone that has one way of working
to work in the other way.
In one case it would be a waste of time.
In the other it would be outright dangerous.
Let people do it in the manner that works best for them.

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Alcohol is a gateway drug to mental illness

Demons exist.

They can, as I said earlier, get into us through doubt – the deep existential doubt that opens the door for utter despair and confusion.

If we are in that place and let a demon in, it will hook onto us like a parasite. In the jargon of western medicine, it may be described as such things as psychosis, borderline or schizophrenia – states that we can learn to live with or in the shadow of, but which western medicine cannot cure .

24 Suspects by QThomas Bower on Flickr
24 Suspects by QThomas Bower on Flickr

What awakens the doubt? I’ll let a spirit who experienced it tell:
– I got the demon when I was 12- year-old and drank alcohol for the first time. The booze opened a deep existential doubt inside me and I didn’t have the power to resist.
Is it common that those who become possessed by demons get so when they drink alcohol?
– Yes, it is very common. Especially during the first experiences when one’s perceptions about life are challenged, but it requires that you are also emotionally unstable and don’t say no when the darkness grabs you.
– Many of those who later receive diagnoses of mania or schizophrenia, have been invaded by a demon at a young age when they experimented with alcohol or other intoxicants, such as medicines or solvents.

Let me make this clear, in case anyone is missing the point.

Many of the most serious mental illnesses we know of are related to the debut people have with the legal drug alcohol. There needs to be an underlying emotional instability that lowers the mental immune system, but if that is the case alcohol is a gateway drug to mental illness.

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